I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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