dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
