My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
