I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
