Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
