my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How external is "for external use only"?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
