U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
