I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
