she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
