I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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