Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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