Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize