You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
