i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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