i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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