Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
