Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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