The maid of honor just puked.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
