we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
