Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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