just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
