I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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