You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
