She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
