I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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