can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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