remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize