I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
