Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
