yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
