She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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