Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
