so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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