If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had to cum in my sink.
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