Your mouth is God's brothel.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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