Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
