he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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