I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
