So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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