3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize