in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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