Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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