so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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