I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
