hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
