When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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