Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
