That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
