i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
