Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
