If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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