I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
