I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize