I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
