it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize