you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
