Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
