my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
