Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
